To submit? or to choose? That is the question !

  • Individual Coaching – June 2, 2019

To answer the question “Am I living my life or am I an actor in my life? “how do you rate on a scale of 0 to 5?

Short quiz. To me, work is:

  • A nasty activity that causes wear and tear?

  • An unavoidable activity to survive, tasteless and colourless?

  • One of the great human activities that allows me to achieve something and realize myself with and for others?

Anyway, what does work mean to me? Does it belong to my life plan? How can or will my work help the world turn around? How do I find or develop my professional vocation?

Choose a job that you like and you won’t have to work a day in your life,” Confucius tells us. This is my conviction and this is why I like to accompany young people and adults in their self-knowledge and help them make decisions during their professional orientations or transitions.

And in the same way as for the choice of one’s professional activity, for all solicitations, life choices, commitments, there are several elements to be taken into account, questions to be asked before deciding:

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1. Get to know each other well

Do you know that every human being needs..: Structure, Recognition, Stimulation? (1)

  • Structure: need for structured organization giving security and favouring stability, need to have limits (time, space, rules…) to obtain stimulation and recognition.
  • Recognition: need to feel recognized by the other, i.e. appreciated, loved in order to blossom.
  • Stimulation: the need to “nourish” one’s 5 senses, to feel in contact with the world, with life in order to progress, to take up challenges.

Ask yourself the question for each of these 3 thirsts:

  • “What do I need at the very least for my personal equilibrium? »
  • the 3 thirsts according to Eric Berne, American psychoanalyst

2. Exceeding limits and fears

The fear of failing is often stronger than the exhilaration of starting out.

Our limits, our fears, our lack of self-confidence are as many brakes to dare to take a step, to take the plunge.

When you have made a decision to change, to make a commitment, ask yourself these questions:

  • “If I take this step, am I taking the risk of destabilizing my balance in a damaging way? »

“Do I think I’m capable? Physically? Psychologically? Materially?… »

Or “Are these false reasons that are holding me back? »

3. Looking ahead

To project yourself in 2 to 5 years (or just 1 month!) and ask yourself :

  • what I’d like to have changed, to have become, to have accomplished.

which will make me grow, make me better.

Then start moving!

4. To find out more about

Before committing to a service, before choosing a path, do not hesitate to ask yourself:

  • “What are my models of courage? How do they shed light on my own life? on my own values? on what I want to build? »

In order not to burn your wings, not to take ill-considered risks, take a step back and weigh your heart and your mind:

  • “What am I risking? “Is it a real danger (which requires caution)? or is it a figment of my imagination? or is it due to an unfortunate past experience? »

“If I listen to my heart, what impulse does it give me? Does it set me in motion? »

“So, are you ready to be the actor of your life?”

Clotilde Boyer

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